Friday, October 3, 2014

Life: Deleted

Part of my life was accidentally deleted this past Monday evening.
(Please, don't worry. I am quite alright now. Memories have been restored and my confidence is no longer crushed.)

All at once my iPhone crashed and everything after September 4th was no more.

Nothing major had happened to me in between September 4th and 29th, yet I was bothered. I tried to tell myself that this was stupid, yet was somehow really irked by the fact that all of my photographs, text messages, notes, voice memos, song ideas, etc., were completely erased.

Am I so addicted to my phone that I can't handle a slight purge? I do not think that this is the case.

I believe the frustration lies in the fact that I value communication, that I value the small moments in life, I value the seemingly throwaway messages that people send me, the random yet endearing photographs that help me to capture a fleeting moment for eternity.

So, when my text history for over 3 weeks was erased, those small reminders that someone cares were erased.
When my photos with friends, family, and those I care about were deleted, I felt like I was losing the moments that mean so much to me.
All the song ideas. Gone. Where is my creativity now? It must have been deleted as well.

Why do I care about such trivial things?

My mind is in a cloud of late, so I struggle with memory, I have trouble seeing things clearly. But those encouragements, those birthday texts, those photos with my best friend at a concert - those were reminders of what was and what is, and how I am blessed.

I don't want to lose sight of this. I don't want to forget. These small ebenezers - stones of remembrance - in my life, they help me to see God working. These encourage me to be present in the lives of those around me. I am reminded of the relationships that I have, that they are bearing fruit of an eternal weight.

To forget is to lose sight of the things that truly matter.
Oh my heart, remember. Hold fast to what is true, to what IS.

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