Journey to Anthem: Raindrops

Last Wednesday night I attended the final meeting of my Christ City Church community group. We call them "parishes," which often confuses people, but whatever you call it, it is a Godsend.

As I pulled into the south Memphis bowling alley parking lot, the rain fell steadily - blanketing everything with a soft gray haze. To my melodramatic soul, it felt a fitting forecast.

In the back of my mind I thought that this would be the last time I dealt with rain for a while. (although any monsoon-enduring Phoenix dweller will tell you this isn't true)

I think I sighed heavily as I hustled inside... away from the rain, and away from the gray blanket of security. Now I had to face my friends - no - my family. We prided ourselves on our vulnerability and love for one another, but now I was finding that vulnerability to be uncomfortable.

How in the world could I tell these people how much they mean to me?

I resigned myself to the fact that I would never be able to, and instead focused on being present with them for the rest of the evening.

Since I can't bowl (wrist issues) I was the unofficial photographer of the evening. My goal was to capture the spirit and joy of community we had by just being together. This was the beauty of my time in a Christ City parish - no matter where we were or what we were doing, we were bound together by the blood of Jesus and our love for one another.

I loved to notice the sideways glances from other bowlers in our general direction. They weren't annoyed at us, but curious... we were just so happy.

As I interacted with each of my brothers and sisters in Christ, I realized that this really wasn't the end. My life was changed dramatically by the testimony and actions of these Christians, and there was NO way that our relationship would just cease to exist.

Sure it will be hard. Skype and FaceTime are not the same as a coffee conversation with a friend, but the whole point of my time with this beautiful and grace-filled church was this:

I am meant to take this West.

My time at Christ City Church healed me from bitterness, it set me free from my own doubt and standards, but it more than anything gave me a seed to plant in my own ministry.

This seed of love, of mercy, of grace, of justice is going to be crucial as I relocate in Arizona. How else can I see the lives of those around me impacted? I myself must love, must show mercy, must be gracious, fighting for justice.

So in the midst of the raindrops I find the beauty - I see this precious gift in front of me, and I know what I am to do now.

Thank you parish family for everything you've meant to me! Thanks for accepting me, showing me love, and rejuvenating my spirit as I head west into a new season of ministry!

This is not the end.

"No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is perfected in us." - 1 John 4:12

Fearing Closeness, or the Barriers that Divide

Barriers are necessary in life.

It is crucial to create barriers between ourselves and the things that cause us to become distracted, the things that cause us to stumble, and the things that might hinder us from loving well.

Yet, barriers have become commonplace in our society. 

These walls protect us.

They keep our image intact.

They perpetuate the lie that we not only tell the world, but ourselves.

We hide behind them, unwilling to know and be known.

These barriers prevent us from having to be real, from having to be vulnerable. 

Vulnerability is crucial for bonding to occur. For us to be able to relate to other people, then it is necessary for us to be human as well, is it not?

Despite this, we still hide behind our iPhones and Facebook accounts, pretending that our worlds are intact. 

In the moment it may seem best. "Don't be known as a complainer!" people might say. 

This may seem logical, yet it alienates the people who struggle even further. Rather than extending arms to the other people around us who bear burdens, it forces us each into isolation with our own pains - essentially sentencing us into imprisonment with our own chains.

Do we not realize that part of the key to freedom lies in community?

We will never be able to be free if we are fed the lie that "I am the only one with this struggle." 

The amount of depression and self-defeat is staggering. You feel that you are an anomaly, that you are the most wicked of souls.

Why would we ever subject another person to such pain? The pride that maintains our own image and our own ego not only keeps us from being free ourselves, but it hurts those closest to us by lying to them about their own struggles.

Brothers and sisters! The ground is level at the foot of the cross!

Can we not be open with each other for once? Will it KILL you to admit that you have problems too? Let us be a BLESSING to one another! (see my post on this) 

Besides this, Christ within grants the strength and grace to be able to accomplish this. It is our privelege and PURPOSE as believers to comfort and bear burdens. Galatians says that we are to "Bear one another's burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ." 

But we are also told that Christ "comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." (2 Corinthians 1:4) 

The whole PURPOSE to our pain is to minister to others! Yes, we will be refined as well, but since when is the Christian's life about himself? Just as Christ did not come to be served but to serve, our mission as well is each other.

Some of the deepest pain lies in isolation, yet some of the purest joy lies in freedom!

Why are we so afraid of ourselves? So afraid of what people think, what people will say, what they will do... Let us instead start a movement of grace and mercy. Show each other what true love in Christ looks like. 

1 John 4:18 is a sobering reminder of this:

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love."

What do we have to be afraid of? 

Nothing can separate us from the love of Christ.

I am burdened and overwhelmed with passion on this issue. I want to see my brothers and sisters encouraged, to learn how to open up and be vulnerable.

I truly believe that when this happens, we will see a great spiritual awakening that has not been seen in decades. 

Migration Patterns

What if moving on to greener pastures was not as great thing as it was cracked up to be?

I've been thinking a lot again about ministry goals, and how that relates to where God has placed us in life, but more importantly WHO he has placed us with. 

I've noticed a common mentality among my peers, both in seminary and in other areas of life, for the "corporate model" of living life.... That is, the constant move to a bigger platform and a larger spotlight.

Let's face it, everybody wants to be noticed, to make a lasting impact, and to know that their life is validated in some way. 

Why, though, have we bought into the lie that this validation is correlated with what we do and not with who we are? 

Lives are spent moving all over the country, from one sphere of influence to another, seeking to provide better opportunities for ourselves and our families, but at what cost? My fear is that at the end of the day, we will find that our lives have been spent without the depth of community and level of trust that we need as people.

This is especially true of the church. 

I have written already about sharing life, about bearing burdens, and have attempted to explain my thoughts on the importance of Christian community. I barely know what to write now, as the life philosophy I am now developing is so colossally different than everything I have ever held to.

For the first time in my life, I believe that staying is better than going. Instead of being eager to experience life by going to "new exciting places" and starting new ministries in a completely different context, I am challenged by the thought of simply committing to those around me completely and sacrificially, as if this is my final destination. 

So often I become so distracted by the future that I fail to live to my full potential in the present. Worrying sets in, and preparation for what is to come obsesses my mind.

Don't get me wrong, preparation in life is important, but we are always being prepared for the next thing throughout life until we eventually die. Preparation is not something we are taught but something we experience. 

This leads me to the realization that life happens now, not then. Life is not where you will spend your life, but who you will spend it with. Life is the everyday moments, not just the mountaintops and valleys.

When will we realize that the people who are around us, sharing the seemingly small moments, are what make us truly experience life in a full way? 

We desire to experience life "moments", but what do they matter if you don't have those you love to share them with? 

Acts 4:32 describes the church the following way. 

"Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common." 

One heart. 

One soul. 

They had everything in common. 

This is what it is like to live life. 

I am excited to see how sweet and fruitful my friendships will be 5, 10, even 20 years in the future. I intend on committing and cultivating these relationships, because that is what makes up my life.

My best friend made the comment to me the other day that in the future we will be "a force to be reckoned with." On the surface this seems comedic and we laughed, yet in context this was a very true and exciting thought. 

What could be accomplished in the world if we invested in others completely? With hearts knit together in The Lord what kind of healing and hope could we see in this world? When the church has one soul and a unified voice what kind of impact can we have for the Gospel?

1 John 4:12 tells us that "no one has seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us."

If the world could tangibly see Christ in Me, the hope of glory, then what would change? 

We love because He first loved us.

Instead of moving on to greener pastures to make the best life possible, how about we realize that the people around us are what make up the best life possibile.