Coffee Talk: 40

February 12, 2011

  "I waited patiently for the LORD; 
he turned to me and heard my cry. 
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, 
out of the mud and mire; 
he set my feet on a rock 

   and gave me a firm place to stand. 
He put a new song in my mouth, 
a hymn of praise to our God. 

Many will see and fear the LORD 

   and put their trust in him.

   Blessed is the one
who trusts in the LORD, 

who does not look to the proud, 

   to those who turn aside to false gods

Many, LORD my God, 

   are the wonders you have done, 

   the things you planned for us. 

None can compare with you; 

   were I to speak and tell of your deeds, 

   they would be too many to declare."

-Psalm 40:1-5-

As I write this blog entry, I find myself unable to manage my time well. Even setting aside a moment to write this took me over 3 days, and much self-forcing to accomplish. But alas, I find myself with a free moment, an open mind and an even more open heart to what God is trying to show me.
Psalm 40 vs. 1 has long been an inspiration to me as I pursue music, as I love life, as I fellowship with friends, as I glorify God. I was always struck by David's honesty. "I waited patiently for the Lord." How hard that is to do! In this hectic society we get distracted so easily from the Lord and forget to acknowledge HIS hand at work in our lives. I firmly believe that this Psalm is not necessarily a song for troubled times so much as it is a reminder of WHO God is and WHAT he has done.

The firm rock that David mentions is Christ. I am sure that you are familiar with these lyrics "On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand." That is the truth that we see understood by David, hundreds of years before the Messiah's arrival. David, like Abraham simply believed God's promises, and that was counted to them as righteousness. We so often try and speed up God's will for our lives by making human attempts at human goals, and fall flat on our faces.

My Spirit cries within me "Wait patiently for the Lord".
I struggle and I fight, because we are imperfect, impatient people.
I try to control my life.
"Be Still and know that I AM God" my Abba Father says.
I must be still and prostrate before the Lord, for He knows what I need most. Him.

It is so easy to get turned astray by our own pride, by our own will, by our own MIND but the truth is this...
"Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods." I am blessed by the Creator by the opportunity to hand over my life to Him. Who am I to assume I know anything about the way my life, much less the Universe, works?!
"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps." - Proverbs 16:9
"A person's steps are directed by the LORD. How then can anyone understand their own way?" - Proverbs 20:24

"I wait patiently for the Lord, He TURNED TO ME AND HEARD ME CRY."
The nations say where is your God? He is on His throne and does whatever He pleases. BUT he is also Immanuel. God With Us. He is God in heaven AND God on earth. He is both creator of ALL THINGS and dwelling within me here. That truth is what I can hold fast to when the storms of life come my way.
"He is before all things, and IN HIM all things hold together." - Colossians 1:17

So why do we fear? Do we not know that He cares for us? Do we not realize that our Father only wants us to trust him? Instead of falling on our faces from stumbling, we should be falling on our faces in humility! "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time."
- 1 Peter 5:6

Therefore dear Brothers and Sisters, "Cast all your anxiety on HIM because he cares for you!" 
 - 1 Peter 5:7

If this encouraged you at all, please leave a comment! It would be encouraging to me to know that my time doing this is not being wasted and is in fact reaching people. Thanks.
Walking alongside you in life, The REAL Bowman

My Top 3: Super Bowl Halftime Shows

In light of last nights abysmal performance by the Black Eyed Peas, I was reminded of a day when the Super Bowl halftime show was a fusion of lights, visuals, screaming fans, and LEGITIMATELY GOOD MUSIC.
While very cool visually, the BEP failed to deliver vocally.

See what I mean about abysmal?

Ever since the Justin Timberlake/Janet Jackson "wardrobe malfunction" of 2004 the committee in charge of halftime music seems to have been reduced to choosing old washed up bands who have already seen their prime. With the exception of Paul McCartney and possibly the Rolling Stones, these performances by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Prince, Bruce Springsteen and The Who were lackluster, safe and a letdown.

Let's journey back in time to what are in my opinion the 3 best halftime shows to ever grace the tv screen.

3. Super Bowl XXXIV "Tapestry of Nations" feat. Christian Aguilera, Enrique Iglesias and Phil Collins

Produced by Disney, this halftime show is somewhat forgotten now amid the controversy and pop power of the following acts, but there is no denying the impressive quality of 2000's Super Bowl halftime show.
Hearkening to The Olympic ceremonies and Cirque du Soleil, the staging of this massive spectacle is impressive in itself. Featuring a live orchestra, choir and performers, this was a feast on the eyes as well as the ears. "Reflections of Earth" can be heard at Disney's EPCOT park in Orlando as part of the"Illuminations" show. The translation to stadium went well and the performances from Aguilera, Iglesias and Collins were all very well done. If you haven't seen this one, you will want to check it out!

2. Super Bowl XXVII "Heal the World" feat. Michael Jackson

Say what you will about the man, there is no denying that the King of Pop knew how to put on a show. Not only was his 1993 Super Bowl performance the first halftime show to ever feature only 1 artist, it also helped to boost the tv ratings of based solely on the halftime performance. Ever since then, the committee put an emphasis on getting A-list performers for this show.

1. Super Bowl XXXVI "Tribute to 9/11 Victims" feat. U2

U2 is the biggest rock band in the world. Was it really a suprise that they would give one of the most unbelievable Super Bowl halftime performances in history in 2002? From Bono's entrance to the touching tribute to the victims of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, U2 didn't disappoint. Not only is their stage presence huge and their live sound as good if not better than their studio works, U2 has long been known for the massive qualities of their live sets. The huge catwalks and lights just enhanced what would have been an amazing show anyway.

The performance of "Where The Streets Have No Name" while the names of those lost in the attacks scrolls behind the stage is moving and one of the most beautiful moments in the performance. Check out the show in the links above...

I want to hear what YOU think?
What do you think the top 3 Super Bowl halftime performances are?
Signing out,
The REAL Bowman

R.I.P. White Stripes

February 2, 2011
In a surprise move by Jack White, The White Stripes officially announced today on their official website that the band has officially ended and will no longer perform or record new material. According to the website the Stripes' breakup is "not due to artistic differences or lack of wanting to continue, nor any health issues as both Meg and Jack are feeling fine and in good health. It is for a myriad of reasons, but mostly to preserve what is beautiful and special about the band and have it stay that way." Many of you may not care, but White Stripes has long been one of my favorite bands due to the raw emotion and passion in their music and the creativity and variety in sound for a two-man outfit.

On one hand I am saddened by the news, but on the other I am excited about the future possibilities that White and Co. have. The breakup almost seems to be a creative move into new musical territory as White posts"The White Stripes do not belong to Meg and Jack anymore.The White Stripes belong to you now and you can do with it whatever you want." What does that mean? It means that the White Stripes will continue through our continued support and listening.

In light of the band's breakup here are a couple highlights from The White Stripes' awesome and mind-blowing career.

1. "Fell In Love With A Girl"

Sure the song is 2 minutes long, but the sheer rock power of this song manages to last long after the last note is played. Add to that an innovative LEGO music video from acclaimed director Michel Gondry, and you have gold.

2. Elephant

The Stripes' fourth album "Elephant" was released in 2003 and was their major record label debut. It was received with critical acclaim and is loved by fans everywhere. This happens to be MY favorite album of The White Stripes. It received a perfect rating from Rolling Stone and went on to win the 2004 Grammy Award form Alternative Album of the Year. "Seven Nation Army", the first single from the record, went on to win the Grammy for Best Rock Song. This record seriously doesn't have a single weak song on it. 

If you are new to the Stripes and want a sampling from them, this cd is it. 

Check out "The Hardest Button to Button" and "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself".

3. Icky Thump - The Tour

Icky Thump was the final recording of The White Stripes and is one of the most creative recordings that the duo released. It followed in the footsteps of the previous 2 recordings and won Alternative Album of the Year at the Grammy Awards. To support the record, Meg and Jack decided to do a Canadian tour to support the album in which they would play in all 10 provinces. 

In the words of Jack White - "Having never done a tour of Canada, Meg and I thought it was high time to go whole hog. We want to take this tour to the far reaches of the Canadian landscape. From the ocean to the permafrost. The best way for us to do that is ensure that we perform in every province and territory in the country, from the Yukon to Prince Edward Island."

Chronicled in The White Stripes live dvd/cd "Under Great White Northern Lights" The Icky Thump Tour was a smash hit, although having to be ended early due to anxiety attacks suffered by Meg. While on the tour the Stripes performed their 10th anniversary show as well as shows in various random venues such as town squares, public transportation and bowling alleys. Another highlight occurred on July 16th 2007 when they performed their infamous "One Note Show". This show holds the world record for the world's shortest concert, as the set list was comprised of an "F" chord. 

IN CONCLUSION-

Thank you Jack and Meg for 13 wonderful years creating music and inspiring others to be innovative at their instruments! I hope that the future holds wonderful things musically. :-)

The REAL Bowman

P.S. Jack White is my musical inspiration at the violin. (Go Figure)

5 Reasons Why "The Green Hornet" Is Worth Watching

Movie Review: The Green Hornet
rated PG:13 for sequences of violent action, language, sensuality, and drug content
Movie Making: 4 out of 5 stars
Morality Rating: Better than Average

Instead of a traditional review in where I walk you through in essay format the reasons for rating a certain film as I do, I have decided that a unique film like "The Green Hornet" deserved an equally unique movie review! Sure, it's been in theaters a few weeks, but I decided to see it just recently. And really really freaking loved it!
SO, here are my 5 reasons why "The Green Hornet" is worth watching.

1. The Wit/Humor
The dialogue in "The Green Hornet" was seriously a surprise to me. Usually I go see comic book movies and am bored with pretentious subplots and past histories of the characters that are long and boring. Usually, the main character has some sort of internal struggle with his identity (Spider-man) or is just trying to figure out his relationships (Iron-man) but in the case of The Green Hornet, what you see is what you get.
Seth Rogen was not only enlisted as the title character, but he gets credit for helping write the screenplay to this movie! This movie never takes itself seriously, as one could expect from a movie starring American's favorite raunchy-comedic actor, yet that is one of "The Green Hornet"s strong points.

How could you NOT like this guy?

Britt Reid is a playboy son  of a newspaper editor who can't seem to get a grasp on life. Rogen's script is chock full of lines like "You know what you are? You're a human Swiss army knife." (To Kato) and "You know what I like my women to have? Balls." (To Lenore Case in regards to her gutsy interview). Instead of his character developing and growing out of his child-like behavior, "The Green Hornet" has us laugh with Seth Rogen's Britt Reid as he bumbles along. I would say that the only major character development occurs when Britt discovers that being a crime-fighter is NOT a piece of cake!
Here is one more example of the kind of banter you can expect in this movie.


Kato: We'll need a car.
Britt Reid: Hells yes, we'll need a car.
Kato: Some weapons and armor.
Britt Reid: Cool rims. Spinning rims. 
Kato: I can do that.
Britt Reid: Kato, I want you to take my hand. I want you to come with me on this adventure.
Kato: I go with you, but I don't want to touch you.
Britt Reid: Ok, you don't have to take my hand but will you come with me on this adventure?
Kato: Ok.
Britt Reid: Yes.


2. The Cast
"The Green Hornet" contains one of the single most eclectic sets of cast members I have ever seen in a movie. Blame that on director Michel Gondry's quirkiness, or blame it on the studio. Either way, somehow, it works.
Seth Rogen has long been known as a comedic actor, appearing in such movies as "Knocked Up" and "The 40 Year Old Virgin". Needless to say, casting him was a MAJOR stretch that caused many fans to wince, yet it is a decision that pays off. Rogen defines the character of Britt Reid for a new generation, creating a character that feels somewhat relatable, yet believably awesome.
Jay Chou takes the role left by Bruce Lee in the original Green Hornet tv series and plays The Green Hornet's sidekick Kato with a cool, calm, Charisma. (wink) Everything seems like a breeze to this character, who not only creates all the gear used by TGH and team but also has created a machine that makes the perfect cup of coffee! In one of the movies' memorable scenes, Britt Reid storms around his father's estate yelling, trying to find the maker of such an incredible cappuccino. An added plus is that Jay Chou is the spitting image of John Cho, who co-starred in 2009's Star Trek movie.

Jay Chou or John Cho?

Cameron Diaz plays the lovely Lenore Case. Come on guys! It's Cameron Diaz!!!

Christoph Walz is the villainous "Chudnofsky" (Okay, yeah, that's one of the worst villain names ever conceived) BUT after proving his chilling acting chops in Quentin Tarantino's "Inglourious Basterds", Walz is hands down one of the best choices for ANY villain EVER.

He can deliver the right amount of cheese while still being believably evil.

And finally, James Franco (that's right ladies!) makes a surprise cameo at the beginning as a drug underlord in the city. Any movie with Franco in it is better in my books!

3. The Director - Michel Gondry

For those of you unfamiliar with his work, Michel Gondry (proncouned Mee-shell, NOT Michael) is the writer and director of 3 amazing movies in my books as well as countless music videos. 

He directed the critically acclaimed "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind", "The Science of Sleep" and "Be Kind Rewind". Among his many music video credits are The White Stripes, Radiohead and Bjork. This video gives you just a small glimpse inside this creative genius' mind.

Gondry is known for his very indie, visually trippy video work. His unique usage of lighting, handheld camera work and time manipulation has solidified Gondry as one of the most striking directors out there. It was Gondry who first invented the camera techniques used by the Wachowski's in The Matrix. 

Gondry has also guest directed episodes of "Flight of the Conchords" and "The Office". If you have time, check them out. ANYWAY, Gondry's ridiculously cool style leads us to point 4 of my 5 reasons why......


4. This Shot.....

As far as I'm concerned, this fight sequence is cinema GOLD. I was literally FLOORED when I saw this in the theater. Of course, the 3D only added to the depth of the scene.
And that is my final point....


5. The 3D conversion rocked
Following in the footsteps of Tim Burton's "Alice in Wonderland" and "Tron: Legacy", "The Green Hornet" showcased some of the very finest 3D technology in Hollywood. While it was not shot in 3D like "Avatar" or the upcoming Pirates, Transformers and Hobbit movies, the 3D was used to enhance the experience. It was never a gimmick (as in "The Last Airbender") and only helped draw the audience further into the story! And yeah, it made That Shot look pretty darn cool. :-)


MY CONCLUSION: Is this. Go See The Green Hornet.
You won't regret it. 


The REAL Bowman

Coffee Talk: Community VS. Isolation

As I write this week's coffee talk, I am literally floating in a bathtub full of ice cold coffee.
Awkward pause.
No I'm not. I am in a Starbucks by the mall, watching it slowly wintry mix outside as I wait until it is time to go teach violin lessons for 5 straight hours without stopping. (sobs)


This week I have been thinking a lot about what it means to have community in Christ and how we are truly missing out if we find ourselves alone. You have heard it said that no man is an island, and this is especially true if we are believers in Christ. There are many metaphors used in the Bible, but one of the most prominent in regards to the church is the Body.


"Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." -Ephesians 4:15-16


And then of course the classic: 1 Corinthians 12:12-26


This idea of being joined together in everything we do with Christ as the head is not only practical and encouraging, it is Biblical. It pains me to see relationships weaken more and more with the rise of social networking. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing inherently wrong in themselves with Facebook and Twitter. We just need to be careful as a church to not forget about the people behind those pages.


A personal struggle I have had for the last 5 years (college and post college) has been loneliness. It is so easy to become separated from the body when we get busy, and in that we suffer. With Christ as our head we grow TOGETHER, building each other up in love as we each do our part. Read the Ephesians passage again.
What does it mean to grow together, building each other up in love? Let us define scripture with scripture.


"There should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it." - 1 Corinthians 12:25-27

I'd like to focus in on the phrase where it says "each part should have equal concern for each other." And this doesn't work if only one person does it. No matter what kind of person you are- what kind of mannerisms, personality, love language- that you have, we ALL need to be encouraged in the LORD. If someone is having a bad day, go out of your way to show them some love! It doesn't have to be much, just reaffirm that you see them as a fellow member of the Body of Christ and that you love them. If someone is having a good day, go out of your way to rejoice and praise God with them! Show them that you see them as a fellow member of the Body of Christ and that you love them!

I Corinthians 12:27 says "You are the body of Christ, and EACH ONE OF YOU is a part of it." If we are a part of Christ and He resides within us, then if we are isolated from the body, then we are isolated in a sense from Jesus himself. Jesus says that whatever we have done to the least of these, we have done to him. We often forget that He is with us, and we forget (or ignore) that the church is His body! People of God, we need to wake up and start loving one another the way He loved us! If we continue to neglect each other, then we are going to wither and fall! It is through this accountability and family relationship with Christ as the head that the church thrives. 

This relationship is also the way that non-believers in Jesus will see Him. I John 4:7-12 (and the rest of this awesome book!) says this- 


"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us."


The last verse says it all my brothers and sisters. Our love should simply be an overflow of God's love. We don't love the crummy sinner, we love the Christ within. No one has ever seen God, but if the Christ in me loves the Christ in you regardless of what I've done or what you have done, then perhaps the world will see that Crazy Love that Jesus has shown us. "God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." Wow.


I hope this post has encouraged you. I love all of you and hope that our relationship in the Body of Christ is strengthened. I hope to be able to serve you more and unconditionally love you with the love of Jesus and I hope you do the same to all those around you.

In Christ,
The REAL Bowman

What it takes to be an A list actor

So. (I start a WHOLE lot of things with that word) This is a fairly simple post. I am going to tell you the 5
simple things that I believe it takes to be an A list actor. You know the type I'm talking about, right? That man that makes you swoon, regardless of YOUR gender because of his suave personality, debonair hair, chic wardrobe and charisma practically dripping off the end of his cigar.
YES, THAT is the A list actor. The man that can play anything, manage critical acclaim AND endear the audiences to himself. That elusive actor that not only can play a drug addicted drug addict that is addicted to drugs, but can also walk proudly on the red carpet in his Armani suit saying "I am the man." And you don't question him or call him arrogant. Because he is the man.
George Clooney. Brad Pitt. Leo DiCaprio. Hugh Jackman. Matt Damon. Christian Bale. Edward Norton. The men that- had they lived in the Rat Pack era- would been close friends of Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart.

So without further ado, here are the 5 things that make up an A-list actor (according to me).

1. Fashion Sensibility
Let's face it men! Men in the olden times dressed a heck of a lot better that we do now! It used to be customary to wear a suit when someone came over, or when you went out to eat, or when you read the paper. Ties weren't for dressy clothes NOR were they optional. They just were..... HECK, if your wife would vacuum the carpets wearing a dress and pearls?... yeah, I think the man of the house could be a bit snazzy too. It was just one of those things. SO, the A-list actor knows how to dress well in ANY circumstance. He doesn't pull an Ashton Kutcher and wear a trucker hat on the red carpet. NO. He wears a suit calmly and assertively as if he has spent 6 months in Tibet hunting down the suit and taming it.

I want you to stop what you are doing and sit down and just browse pictures of some of the above listed actors. In fact, here a couple examples of actors with Fashion Sensibility.

Our "Terrific Trio" of Metrosexual awesomeness

As you can see Matt Damon, George Clooney and Brad Pitt (pictured in the Oceans movies) are calmly lounging in an airport, sporting casual suits with a nice set of shades on each face. NOTICE: They are not wearing ties. It is because the tie has a slightly different role in current fashion culture. The TIE is now hated widely and only worn for truly "dress up" events.

2. Cool, Calm, Collected Charisma
Yes. I put this on the list.
THINK ABOUT IT. Will we ever see Shia Labeauf or Zac Efron graduate to the role of A lister? Possibly. But first they need to understand the art of having a cool, calm and collected charisma. Example? Edward Norton.

A possible library ad?

As you can see, Ed Norton has this FIRE that burns within his eyes, yet he contains the beast. His very spirit conveys confidence and poise, yet the beast is caged. A lion rages within. The eagle beats. The eel squirms forth. Ed Norton makes men squirm like the eel in low self-esteem. Why? Because he knows how to carry himself. This quality is present in ALL the above listed actors. Brad Pitt is another great example. 

Who says this man has no charisma?

Look at how he leans forward! As if saying "I could totally fall forward if I wanted to. But I am charismatically collected, and so I won't". This man makes other men pee their pants. Many men have man crushes on Brad Pitt and it is because of this factor. Out of all actors, Brad Pitt carries himself with the most Charisma, and just plain COOL-ness of all the actors in Hollywood. And yet, he can still get away with a movie like "Burn After Reading" just because of his essence in "Se7en", "Meet Joe Black", "Legends of the Fall" and "A River Runs Through It"; and his just bad-a-ness in "Fight Club".

3. A 'Plethora' of roles (aka. Variety)
Let's face it. The reason that Zac Efron, Justin Bieber, Channing Tatum, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen, Ed Helms etc etc etc will never be A list actors is that they have no freaking variety in their roles! Seriously.
Has Zac Efron EVER played anything other than a spaced out teen that is trying to find himself somehow in the midst of falling in love with a girl that finds his true beauty within? (cough hack)

Zac tries to use his eyes as his biggest selling point rather than his acting so he gets the same role every time. There are two problems with this. FIRST of all, if you rely on your eyes you will never be able to wear A-lister sunglasses. SECONDLY you will only be cast as reincarnations of your only character and honestly that just gets old! Perhaps stop making High School Musical style movies? JUST MAYBE we will start taking you seriously. He also needs to change his appearance every once in a while. Maybe shave his head and try a gritty crime drama. Or perhaps try out for an elf in "The Hobbit". Right now I'm pretty sure he takes a Nike swoosh or two, tapes them to his mirror, then tries to comb his hair behind them as he gazes into his steely blue eyes.





The award for PLAYING THE SAME CHARACTER IN ALL MY MOVIES goes to (cue that trumpet solo!) none other than Nicolas Cage!!!!! This man always has the exact same voice, no matter what. Even if his partner is about to be nuked in the head he is still cool and collected and all like "I believe that I can save you, so I am going to try." If he drops the sliced zucchini on the floor he says the same thing. If he tries to find a map in the Q'uran he says the same thing....

Need I say more?

4. Association with some sort of charity work
By now you all know that Brad Pitt adopts the world's extra children, and that is HIS contribution to the world. He hands them to Angelina Jolie who then stores them away behind her luscious lips.
IT IS CRUCIAL for an A-List actor to pick some sort of SOMETHING to be an activist for.
Matt Damon for instance is president of the "Do Not Freaking Elect Sarah Palin As President" society.
George Clooney.....ummm.....lives in...Italy.
Umm... yeah.
Hugh Jackman. I'm sure he speaks for somebody.....right? I mean, he is just so freaking awesome.
I'm getting off of this one.

5. The Ability to look Amazing without Smiling
I don't think I need to explain this one. Just look!

And then Jimmy....

And then Hugh...

See what I mean?

SUMMARY: There is really nothing more to say. If you want to be an A-Lister, you need to adhere to the bro code. Seriously. Suit Up. Carry yourself well. Be different from time to time. Support St. Jude. Don't smile!

Signing out,

The REAL Bowman

A Day in the Life: Being Unique

1-20-11
One of the most mysterious and infuriating parts of being in a band is originality.
For one thing, there are thousands and THOUSANDS and MILLIONS of bands in the world constantly writing new songs every day, so there is constant pressure to be different. Different. Hmmm. What a funny word!
You can either take that and roll in a litter box full of glitter like Lady Gaga, or you can embrace it logically by utilizing unique and forgotten sounds like current hit bands Arcade Fire, The National, Vampire Weekend and Mumford and Sons.

Wearing Muppets as clothing is different, right? Or is it frog-icide?

Unique doesn't have to be weird! Someone please tell Miss Gaga that. Or don't. She has certainly made a name for herself that way. And if she doesn't evoke controversy for wearing meat on her head, then who will???? Rihanna ain't at that point yet, boys.

So here are some DO's and DONT'S for bands. Things that are working and not really working these days.

1. Enlist the help of an A-list song writer/producer to help. 

Ryan Tedder, The Sexy Teddy himself!

Let's face it, sometimes you need a little help. I mean, yeah a lot of bands out there ARE unique and talented enough to self produce an album BUT when you are competing with a billion other bands, getting Brian Eno (Coldplay, U2), Markus Dravs (Arcade Fire) or Ryan Tedder (One Republic) to help you out is generally speaking, A GOOD IDEA! Ryan Tedder for instance has co-written and produced songs with Kelly Clarkson, Leona Lewis, Jordin Sparks, Pussycat Dolls, Blake Lewis, Backstreet Boys, Jennifer Lopez, Chris Cornell, Natasha Bedingfield, (SHARP INHALE) Train, Carrie Underwood and a couple of songs like "Halo" by Beyonce, and "Apologize" and "All The Right Moves" by One Republic. See where I'm going? You've heard of all of them, right? I think I've made my point.


                                                  2. Utilize folk sounds and instruments in your music.

These guys look like Bob Dylan's paper dolls.
Mumford and Sons.

So out of the Grammy award nominees this year, several indie bands have been nominated. Bands like Mumford and Sons, Arcade Fire, The Decemberists and The Avett Brothers are all the rage right now because of their catchy melodies and sounds. Why? Teenagers and yuppie indie rockers are going crazy about these bands because of their 'fresh' sounds when in fact this kind of music has been around for a long, long time. But, it's a good sound! Mainstream people are noticing the banjos, mandolins and fiddles now. YAY FOR THE FIDDLE! Yes. As I write this blog, The Decemberists are getting ready to play on Jay Leno. Ha. I rest my case.

3. Make a specific group of people mad. Wait, DON'T!
It's easy, really. M.I.A. made gingers really mad with her music video for "Born Free". I would post it so you could see, except it is graphically violent and features nudity and red-heads being shot in the head and blown up. Wow. Or Kanye West, making people that aren't Kanye West mad. Generally, that is a very large specific group of people. But he is a d-bag and generally makes everyone mad because he is so arrogant. It is a shame because he is so talented, but his public opinion has plummeted. Especially after humiliating Taylor Swift last year.

I think Kanye thought Taylor would agree with him.

4. Write songs about your failed relationships.

Speaking of Taylor Swift, here is the track listing from her latest cd. (and who they are about)

1. "Mine" -about her breakup with a seagull from Finding Nemo.
2. "Sparks Fly" - about her breakup with Robocop.
3. "Back to December" - about her breakup with the Time Traveler's Wife.
4. "Speak Now"  - about her breakup with a French mime.
5. "Dear John"  - DUH. Her breakup with John Mayer.
6. "Mean"  - about her breakup with the Grinch.

7. "The Story of Us" - about her breakup with Adam Lambert.
8. "Never Grow Up" - about her breakup with Peter Pan.
9. "Enchanted" - about her breakup with Shrek.
10. "Better Than Revenge" - about her breakup with Darth Maul.
11. "Innocent" - Not about a breakup, the chick just felt guilty at this point.
12. "Haunted" - A song about George Lucas and Jar Jar Binks. 
13. "Last Kiss" - This one I can't figure out.....
14. "Long Live" - Or this one...

So..... See what I mean? It's gold for a best-selling record.

5. Be (or don't be) Justin Bieber.

If you can play your cards right, or bribe a witch, or hire a good plastic surgeon, you might be able to pull this off. There is no denying that Bieber was born lucky. Because he just has no talent whatsover. But somehow tween girls everywhere scream his name and throw their Hannah Montana undershirts at him on stage. And his voice is NEVER going to change, so that's a plus too. Right? There is nothing more unique than being the only one of your kind. If you ARE Justin Bieber then you cancel out the Bieber that currently exists. And he writes songs about Babies apparently. WHAT'S CUTER THAN BABIES?

I mean, who can resist? His glasses are just SOOO endearing.

So there you go.

I hope you young and upcoming musicians are enlightened now. 

If you need more advice, message me and I will put you on a career path so perfect that you are gonna leave Ryan Seacrest in your dust.

Signing out.

The REAL Bowman

www.facebook.com/loserswayhome